


Can’t Even Have a Nice Dinner

by Groot (grootiez)



Series: Growing Up Groot [4]
Category: Groot - Fandom, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12732276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grootiez/pseuds/Groot
Summary: The Guardians get treated to dinner at a fancy restaurant as a reward for completing a very difficult mission. However, dinner doesn’t go exactly as planned…





	Can’t Even Have a Nice Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Groot hates clothes.

“What do you mean we have to get dressed up? Why can’t we go just as we are?” Rocket complained as they entered the fancy dress shop.

“I am a man, I do not wear dresses.” Drax added as he looked at the various clothes. “I would have chafing issues.”

“Dude!” Rocket exclaimed rather loudly. “We did _not_ need to know that!”

“I am Groot.” Groot nodded as he looked up at his surrogate father.

“I agree, Groot.” The raccoon agreed. _“No one_ needs to know that.” He added as he took Groot’s hand.

“Look, guys, please don’t cause a scene here.” The leader of the group, Star-Lord interjected. “The Nova Corps are treating us to dinner at the fanciest restaurant on Xandar. We have completed 10 dangerous missions for them without losing a single life. The least we could do is be cordial to them. Just find something nice to wear and we’ll be on our way. Any questions?” Starlord added as Drax raises his hand. “Yes, Drax?”

“Do I have to wear a shirt and jacket?” Drax asked worriedly.

Peter and everyone rolled their eyes. “Yes, Drax, you have to.” He said.

“But, I feel uncomfortable when I wear a shirt.” Drax admitted. “They hurt my nipples.” He muttered as Rocket bursted out in laughter.

“Hahahaha! Oh, oh. I can’t wear shirts cause ‘My nipples hurt!’ Oh, boy, that’s a good one!” Rocket exclaimed.

“Rocket, enough! Don’t try to embarrass us!” Gamora ordered. “Take Groot to the children’s section and get him something nice and we’ll meet up back here in an hour.”

“I am Groot.” The little tree complained to Rocket as he tugged on Rocket’s pant leg and looked up at him.

“Fine, Groot, I won’t make you wear a hat, but you will need to wear a suit.” Rocket told Groot as he picked up his son and carried him to the children’s section to be fitted for an outfit. “Long story.” He told the others as he left with Groot.

* * *

An hour later, after trying on various outfits, (And Rocket chasing a rambunctious Groot throughout the store as Groot screamed “I AM GROOOOOT!” at the top of his lungs and ran naked around the store.) They had their clothes for the restaurant. They went back to the Milano where they changed into them before arriving at the restaurant.

* * *

“Hello, do you have a reservation with us this fine evening?” The host asked as they came in.

“Yes, Quill, party of 5.” Peter answered as the host looked at everyone in the party.

“Um, you’re going to have to leave the dog outside.” The host said as he looked at Rocket as Rocket glared at him.

“I am _not_ a dog, mister!” Rocket snarled angrily.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Peter exclaimed. “Rocket, calm down, he didn’t mean it personally.” He pulled Rocket to the side. “Can we get through tonight without you threatening to kill anybody?” Rocket reluctantly agreed as they sat down at their table.

* * *

As they read through the menus, the host returned again.

“I’m sorry, sirs and madam, but the child cannot be sitting on the table.” The host motioned towards Groot, who was happily humming to himself as he listened to Peter’s Walkman.

“Why? He’s not bothering anybody.” Rocket growled. “Look, we’ll move him off the table when the food comes, ‘kay?”

“No, it’s not _“’kay.”_ The host answered. “Now, get him off of the table and into this high chair, or we’ll be forced to throw you out.”

Rocket gently picked up a content Groot and began to place him into the high chair. Groot didn’t like being treated like a baby and began to throw a temper tantrum.

“I AM GROOOOOT!” The angry little tree screamed as he flailed his arms as Gamora buckled him into the high chair. “I AM GROOOOOT!!!!” Groot reached for the salt and pepper shakers and threw them at Drax, who was trying to drown out the noise.

“I’ll take him outside to calm down.” Rocket said as he picked Groot up and carried him outside for timeout.

* * *

“Groot, what was that?” Rocket asked as Groot kicked at the pavement.

“I am Groot.”

“I know that you’re not a baby.” Rocket said as he placed his arm around the young sapling as Groot hung his head low. “But this is a rich people’s place, we have to abide by their rules.”

“I am Groot.”

“I agree. It does suck.” Rocket said as he kneeled next to his son. “Look, I’ll make you a deal: No more flipping out and I’ll let you stay up later, deal?” Groot looked at Rocket and smiled as they went back in and Rocket got Groot in his high chair.

* * *

The waiter came by to take everyone’s order. Everything went smoothly until it was Groot’s turn to order.

“I am Groot.”

“He said that he wants the surf n’ turf.” Rocket translated for the server.

“I’m sorry, that’s not on the children’s menu.” The waiter snobbishly informed Rocket.

“Look, man, Groot-.” Rocket began, but stopped as everyone looked at him getting into the waiter’s face. “Groot’ll have the chicken nuggets.” Rocket quickly said as he sat back down. “Okay, you can have extra cookies for your bedtime snack later, k?” He whispered to Groot as Groot smiled.

* * *

When their food came out, Groot wasn’t happy with his dinner. He promptly picked up a chicken nugget and threw it at Drax. Drax, thinking Groot was being playful, threw a piece of his food at him. This then caused everyone else to look at them and they were immediately removed from the restaurant and given a lifetime ban.

“Dang, we can’t even have a nice dinner. What else are we not gonna be able to do?” Starlord gasped as they walked back to the Milano.

“I am Groot.” Groot said as he pointed to Drax, their sibling rivalry apparent now.


End file.
